Woman. Parent. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Helper. Boss. Employee. Volunteer. Leader.
Do these labels (or lack of them) define you? Do others try to keep you within these roles as much as possible?
Often culture tells us what it means to be happy and successful. In feminist therapy, you have a chance to challenge those assumptions.
In feminist therapy, we look at how women and others have been influenced by limitations, stigmas, and unrealistic expectations.
Society says we’re “supposed” to be recognized by our peers, make a lot of money, and/or have a certain type of family (including well-behaved children and an organized, peaceful home). These unrealistic pressures can make us feel depressed, anxious, apathetic, stressed, and disappointed.
Feminist therapy recognizes the challenges that certain groups, such as women, face in society. It helps people unpack how culture and internalized expectations affect them, and how they can become more empowered and confident in the world.
Foundations of Feminist Therapy
Where do ideas of how we’re expected to behave come from? Even when that’s unclear, it’s still the scale many women use to judge and degrade themselves. The superwoman ideal is impossible to keep up with.
In feminist therapy, you look at how women and others have been influenced by limitations, stigmas, and unrealistic expectations. You might consider how ideas of health and beauty affect you or make you
feel less than. Or how the expectation to be a perfect parent, partner, and employee are unrealistic, if not impossible.
Unreasonable Expectations
For example, maybe Jodie feels she has to stay ahead of others at her firm. She can only imagine what the smug jerg in the office will say or think if she fails. Meanwhile she worries that her children will fall behind at school. And much of her spare time is spent planning healthy meals or feeling guilty for getting takeout. Her house feels like a mess half the time (how could she have time to clean anyway). She becomes frustrated with her kids and sometimes feels resentful that her partner doesn’t help enough.
What Jodie would really love is to have more control in her life, with a little breathing room to think about what she really wants. And although she may not always think so, she deserves it.
Feminist Therapy Techniques
Sometimes our beliefs about ourselves go back to our childhood experiences. They might be influenced by decades of cultural expectations that don’t match today’s realities. Rather than focusing so much on what’s wrong and needs fixing within ourselves, feminist therapy often heals through relationships. In therapy we might explore your connections with your partner, your friends, your coworkers, and culture as a whole.
If you’ve never had the chance to have a healthy relationship of trust and connection, the therapeutic relationship itself can be healing. You can learn what it’s like to feel safe to express yourself and know someone else will accept you as you are. These experiences can help you get a more realistic view of yourself and the roles in your life. You can learn to accept yourself as you are and practice making decisions that reflect your own values and goals.
Looking for a Feminist Therapist?
Are you looking for a feminist therapist who recognizes how culture interacts with our lives and our views of self? Do you find yourself trying to keep up with the traditional view of success? I’d love to help you consider what you really want. What values light up your life? What connections do you care about most?
I offer feminist therapy as well as other treatments to help people learn to feel value from within, even when the outside culture makes that difficult to do.You can contact me anytime to learn more and set up a free consultation. Visit here to get started.
